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Hartland Diner Serves Progressive Values and Classic Eats

Owner Nicole Bartner espouses "Dignity and Respect for ALL humans." Eclectic crowds signal that folks will put aside their differences for classic eats.

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Published October 1, 2024 at 3:03 p.m.
Updated October 2, 2024 at 10:41 a.m.


Irish Benedict - SUZANNE PODHAIZER
  • Suzanne Podhaizer
  • Irish Benedict

When I first walked into the Hartland Diner, Bernie Sanders stood in the entryway, Anthony Fauci leaned casually against a wall, and Barack Obama lurked in a corner — all in the form of cardboard cutouts.

The presence of these liberal icons won't surprise anybody who has made a pre-visit stop at the diner's Facebook page, where owner Nicole Bartner — a law school grad and self-proclaimed theater nerd — shares some of her beliefs. "It's not politics," she told Seven Days. "What I'm messaging are progressive values; they're human rights."

One line of her online mission statement for the diner, which she opened in 2013, calls for "Dignity and Respect for ALL humans" — and that extends to folks with whom she disagrees. "I don't care if you want to wear a dumb [red] hat," she explained. She hopes those customers will benefit from being exposed to other views, she said: "If you're here, you're marinating in these messages, you're present with it, and you bought a meal."

On the day I visited, the crowd was indeed eclectic — a sign that folks will put aside their differences for classic diner fare. A New Hampshire woodsman, perched at the edge of his turquoise barstool, was keen on sharing literal war stories. An older couple, ensconced in a comfy booth, ate quietly at their squiggle-patterned Formica table. At the three-sided central bar, energetic children enjoyed the diner's ample assemblage of plastic dinosaurs.

The Hartland Diner - SUZANNE PODHAIZER
  • Suzanne Podhaizer
  • The Hartland Diner

The nine-page menu may be even more intimidating than the resident T. rex. It features all the trademarks of a diner: loaded hash browns ($15), build-your-own scrambles (prices vary), a corned-beef-hash plate ($25) and slices of freshly baked pie ($10). Meatless offerings include veggie hash browns (from $8), a tofu scram (from $6) and multiple types of vegan breakfast tacos ($12).

In many cases, the laminated menu's neon-yellow, handwritten pages spell out extra details and elucidate sustainably minded twists.

"Hartland Diner Corned Beef Hash is a labor of Love & pure Yankee stubbornness," it reads. "It takes us DAYS to make this." Why so long? The brisket is local, brined and slow-cooked for a full day before being mixed with hand-cut potatoes, onions and bell peppers.

Pancakes (from $15) are made from "Blood, Sweat & Gluten," the menu proclaims. Although the flavors are legion, there are no bodily fluids among them. Instead, the list includes more palatable ingredients such as peanut butter M&M's, chocolate chips, and raspberries.

Maple-walnut pancake - SUZANNE PODHAIZER
  • Suzanne Podhaizer
  • Maple-walnut pancake

While many diners aim to wow customers with the number of flapjacks in a stack, the Hartland diner goes for girth. Initially skeptical about spending $20 on a lonely, single-flavor 'cake — albeit one studded with maple-candied walnuts — I was mollified when the radius of that pancake was nearly equal to the length of my hand. Slathered with butter and accompanied by a generous cruet of maple syrup, the serving was substantial enough for a family of four.

Wanting to follow my sweet order with something savory, I struggled to choose among the local steak Benedict, Irish Benedict and Mexican Benedict, the last of which is served on a housemade black bean burger. That conundrum could be solved by ordering a "flight" of Benedicts. While a single Benedict is $20, indecisive eaters can go up from there. The apex is an $80 flight that gets you a whopping 12 Benes.

Got a smaller appetite — or budget? There are a dozen $5 breakfasts available, plus a whole page of à la carte offerings.

I left more than sated — and with leftovers to share. On my way out, I asked Bernie if he wanted some. For some reason, he didn't answer.

The original print version of this article was headlined "All's Fare | The Hartland Diner serves up progressive values and classic eats"

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