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Dear Reverend,

My penis isn't big at all. I'm about 6.5 inches erect. I can only last about four to five minutes, and it's been like this for years. What can I do? It's getting embarrassing.

John Doe (male, 50)

Dear John Doe,

First off, the average erect penis is 5.1 to 5.5 inches, so yours is nothing to shake a stick at (and be careful if you do). An erect penis of 6.5 inches falls in the 95th percentile, which means only five out of 100 people with penises have one longer than that. So, congratulations — since you care about that kind of thing.

There are ways to increase your size, but most are temporary, such as penis pumps and stretching exercises. More permanent penis enlargement surgery or hormone treatment would likely not be recommended for you. Those are drastic measures usually reserved for penises of three inches or less when erect.

The best thing you can do is stop worrying about your penis size. Stress can add fuel to the fire of sexual dysfunction. And, please, don't compare yourself to what you see in porn. Those are professional penises. You wouldn't compare your height to that of a basketball player, would you?

I'm not sure what sort of sex you're having, but when you say you can "only last" four to five minutes, I'm assuming you mean in penetrative sex. The average duration for that is 5.4 minutes. As long as you and your partner warm up with foreplay and have some good after-party cuddling, four to five minutes of actual "go time" isn't bad.

Sex shouldn't be a big calculation of inches and minutes. Be thankful you have equipment that works and the opportunity to use it.

Good luck and God bless,

The Reverend