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My Partner Is Really Loud When We Have Sex


Published June 1, 2022 at 10:00 a.m.

  • ID 141622440 © Pawel Talajkowski | Dreamstime

Dear Reverend,

My current partner is really loud when we have sex. I don't mind it all that much, but sometimes I feel like she's overacting. Also, my roommate has started referring to her as "the Screamer," and it's rather embarrassing. I want her to tone it down, but I'm not sure how to bring it up. I don't want her to feel bad. What should I do?

Modest Marvin (male, 27)

Dear Modest Marvin,

First off, the fact that you think she's "overacting" is a bummer. I would hope that you could tell when she's enjoying herself, but it seems you have some doubts.

Women often vocalize during sex as a way to either speed things up or boost their partner's self-esteem. Then again, some people just like to cut loose and make a lot of noise. I once had a male neighbor who was way louder than the women he was having sex with.

I always say that if you're comfortable enough with someone to have sex with them, you should be able to talk to them about anything. So talk to her. There's no need to let her know your roommate has given her a nickname, but tell her you're worried about being overheard. You could even make a sexy game out of seeing how quiet you can be.

Better yet, use this as an opportunity to find out whether she really is having as much fun as it sounds.

Good luck and God bless,

The Reverend

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