• Dreamstime

Dear Reverend,

I don't love getting blow jobs. It seems like every other guy I know does, but I've never had an orgasm from one. Intercourse and masturbation feel much better to me. Am I missing something?

Phil Ashio (male, 32)

Dear Phil Ashio,

I bet anyone you ever told this to replied: "That's because you've never gotten a good one." While that could be true — because so many people don't know what they're doing when it comes to oral sex — assuming all men love blow jobs is like assuming all men love football and trucks: It's just not the case.

As with most things in life, what floats one person's boat may take the wind right out of the sails of another's. Some people really enjoy anal sex; others freak out at the mere thought of it. You like what you like, and there's no need to feel you're missing out on anything if you don't partake.

However, it may be hard to maintain your hummer hesitancy if you find a partner who loves giving oral. Should this situation arise and you decide to give it another whack, here are a few tips. Try not to let your mind trip up your body; just relax into the experience. Get hands-on to guide your partner and integrate the masturbation aspect that you enjoy. Try the trusty 69 position to find out whether giving while receiving is more your style.

As always, if you let a partner know you're not into something but they persist, tell them to go whistle up a rope.

Good luck and God bless,

The Reverend