Dear Athena,

A few months ago, I started sleeping with this guy, and things were really good. He's hot and fun, and I like him a lot. A few weekends ago, we were getting busy and really wild, and I basically broke his penis. He was in so much pain, and it was terrible and horrible. We went to the hospital, and he had to have surgery. Now he won't talk to me. Things were hot and heavy, and now he's totally ignoring me. I didn't do it on purpose. He wanted me to be that rough. I can't believe I did this, and now I think I've lost him for good. What should I do?

Signed,

Bruised Over a Sex Injury

Dear Bruised,

Ouch — literally. Of course you didn't mean to hurt him. It sounds like it was fun and games until, well, it wasn't. Poor him! Poor you!

The first thing you need to do is stop blaming yourself. I'm assuming the surgery went well and his member will be back in working order soon. A penis injury like the one you describe is not uncommon. When a penis is erect, it's engorged with blood. Any sort of forceful or aggressive bending during sex can lead to injury. You never know when these things can happen during a particularly heated moment of frisky fun.

But you did the right thing. You took him to the hospital, and doctors took care of it. And while it was definitely an unromantic way to end a date, what else could you do?

Your guy is likely feeling embarrassed or uncomfortable about the whole thing. He might even be angry — but that's understandable. It's his penis! He's pretty attached to the thing, and he may be scared it won't work the same way. My point is, he's probably having a lot of feelings about what happened, and he's entitled to all of them. His body is injured, but I'm guessing his ego is, too. Can you blame him?

Apologies for the pun, but this is the kind of situation that makes or breaks a relationship. Couples with promising futures are ones that can endure awkward or painful moments and still stay connected. So send him a card or some homemade brownies, and let him know how you feel.

But be prepared to give him some time to recover, both physically and emotionally. There's a chance he may not be able to get over this. If that's the case, rest easy knowing you did what you could. I'm hopeful, however, that one day you two can laugh about this — and have a great story to tell.

Signed,

Athena