Dear Mistress Maeve,

How can I get my man to moan or make more noise in bed? When he moans or dirty talks, it turns me on - but he rarely does it, even though I've told him how much I love it.

Signed,

Girl Drowning in Silence

Dear G.D.I.S.,

For those of us who appreciate some aural along with our oral, there's nothing quite as deafening as the sound of silence. However, there is hope for your guy - it's just going to take some patience and coaching on your part.

You say that you've told your man how much you love to hear him talk dirty, but have you specified what type of language turns you on? If you're not describing what you like, think of how confusing that could be for him; he doesn't know if you want him talking to you like a bad girl, or breathily comparing your vagina to a Georgia O'Keeffe painting. You'll need to give him some direction. A great way to get the ball rolling is to ask him questions. If you like being treated like a naughty trick, say, "Do you like it when I'm a dirty girl?" or "Do you like it when I...?" You may only get "yes" and "uh-huh" answers at first, but give your guy some time, and you'll most likely elicit the more illicit responses you're looking for.

We can't expect our partners to be perfect, and it's important that we take responsibility for our needs in bed. Continue to let your guy know that you need more sound waves to get the desired motion in your ocean, but also participate in his learning process of becoming more vocal. After all, actions speak louder than (dirty) words.

With aural support,

mm