Dear Scarlett,

How can I make my man orgasm from getting a blow job? It takes so long!

Signed,

Connie Lingus(female, 50)

Dear Connie Lingus,

Blow jobs may be oral sex, but your mouth doesn't have to do all the work! Here are four different approaches to making your man feel good — while giving yourself a little break when you need it.

• Foreplay. Talk dirty to him while rubbing his penis with his pants still on. Tell him how much you want to put your mouth on it, then get on your knees and unzip his pants. Or take his clothes off and have him lay facedown on the bed. Get naked and climb on top of him. Massage his back and his butt, and rub the muscles on the inside of his thighs. Once he is good and relaxed, start licking and kissing the areas around his inner thigh, then turn him over on his back.

• Stimulate other sweet spots. Before you start sucking, lick the underside of his penis. It contains a ton of nerve endings, as does the head. Also, some men like having their scrotum touched — gently! Lick or caress that part of him lightly or cradle it in your mouth, but don't suck too hard. You can also try stimulating the spot between his balls and his butt, or go even further: "Rim jobs" can be intensively stimulating. Just make sure that he's into it and his butt is clean.

• Moan and make eye contact. As you work the area around his penis, make sure to let him know you're enjoying yourself. Let out a few moans and touch yourself while you are kissing and licking him. When you're about to put his penis into your mouth, make eye contact — for a lot of guys, that's a big turn-on.

• Use your hands. When sucking, grip the base of his shaft and move your hand and mouth up and down together in rhythm. Take mouth breaks as needed, but keep your hand in motion to help him reach that happy ending.

Love,

Scarlett