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Ask Athena: Hemorrhoids Are Affecting My Sex Life


Published December 6, 2017 at 10:00 a.m.
Updated December 6, 2017 at 4:13 p.m.

Dear Athena,

I have hemorrhoids. My boyfriend has a very large penis, and we like to do it doggy style. The last time we had sex, the stimulation was so much that I thought I pooped, but it was a hemorrhoid poking out! It was so embarrassing that I had to stop, but he doesn't seem like he noticed. Now I'm too embarrassed to be in that position again, because I know he has a good view of everything. My hemorrhoids aren't painful or even itchy — they only affect my sex life. I've considered surgery on them, but I've also heard how expensive and painful it is. What should I do?


Alien Invaders (From the Planet Hemorrhoid)

Dear Alien,

Double ouch! Not only is this a major bedroom buzzkill for you, hemorrhoids are just plain uncomfortable. I've got a few simple strategies for you to try so you can leave this painful problem behind you. (Sorry for the pun.)

First, sex can exacerbate your hemorrhoids. When you get aroused, the genitals and anus engulf with blood. That increases pressure to the affected area, resulting in a flare-up. And if you engage in anal sex, you're going to majorly disrupt your hemorrhoid situation. So, you're going to have to treat those suckers before you saddle up for some more lovemaking.

There are many safe and easy ways to treat this issue, and, if you stay on it, it should pass within days, or a week or two at most.

• Use topical ointments and oral medication to treat the pain.

• Take warm Epsom salt baths for 15 to 20 minutes each day until symptoms decrease.

• Keep your bottom clean and tidy and avoid dry, rough toilet paper.

• If hemorrhoids are common for you, consider adding more water and fiber into your diet to increase regular bowel movements, and add exercise to your daily routine. Even a 20-minute daily walk can help!

• If your symptoms don't subside, or you experience bleeding or more pain, call your doc.

Here's another tip: Talk to your partner about this. My advice almost always ends with this sentiment, but communication really is the key to harmony in and out of the bedroom. If this guy is your boyfriend, and you're comfortable doing the nasty with him, don't be embarrassed to talk to him!

Fill him in on your problem. He's bound to be sensitive and respect the space your body needs so you can be in tip-top booty shape soon. And it's not like there aren't other ways to share intimacy and pleasure — get creative!



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