I'd Still Love to Have Sex With My Wife of 46 Years, but There Are Some Issues | Ask the Rev. | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

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I'd Still Love to Have Sex With My Wife of 46 Years, but There Are Some Issues


Published January 10, 2024 at 10:00 a.m.

  • ID 14747613© Alexcoolok|Dreamstime

Dear Reverend,

My wife and I have been married for 46 years. I still would love to have sex with her, but there are some issues. After she retired, she gained quite a few pounds. She refuses to have sex on a blanket on the floor, and the only position we can have sex in is doggy-style. The bed is out of the question. It's a Tempur-Pedic and way too tough to do anything in but sleep. What can I do?

Cam A. Sutra (man, 65)

Dear Cam A. Sutra,

Even when you're a spry, young whippersnapper, a blanket on the floor isn't an ideal place to have sex, so it doesn't surprise me that your wife isn't excited by that idea. Whatever one's weight or age, comfortable and pleasurable sex positions and locations can be found. Have you tried other places around the house? In the shower? On the couch?

I wasn't aware of why a Tempur-Pedic might make sex difficult, so I looked online and found mixed reviews. The consensus of the cons is that the lack of bounce and the way the mattress conforms to your body can make it hard to get traction and switch positions. Do you have a guest room with a regular ol' mattress that might be more conducive to sexy times?

Having sex is right up there with sleeping on the list of the top-five best things to do in bed, so if your mattress isn't cutting it, maybe it's time to get a new one. That can be expensive, so first test out a few affordable adjustments to try to work with what you've got.

Perhaps a mattress topper would do the trick. You could also experiment with different bolsters and pillows. There are companies that make actual "sex pillows" to help you and your partner get into better positions. You can even buy "sex furniture" of all sorts: chairs, swings, chaise lounges. A little bit of online searching is sure to give you inspiration. While you're at it, do some research to expand your sex-position horizons.

Make sure your wife knows that you love her and find her body as sexy as ever. As long as both of you are game, finding what tickles your collective fancy can be fun foreplay.

Good luck and God bless,

The Reverend

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