Not a day goes by here at 7DHQ that we writers don't get at least a dozen stoopid press releases. These press releases alert us about everything from what handbag Lindsay Lohan took with her to prison to the method and make-up of Bernie Sanders' last poo. Sometimes it's fun to spotlight these press releases and expose for all to see how impossibly depressing some people's jobs really are.
Today, we got a good one that I will soon be filing in the "NO SHIT" section of my email. This section also often doubles as the trash.
Here's the subject of the email: "Research Shows Political Bias at the University of Vermont." It was sent to us by Bryan Bernys, director of the National Field Program for the innocuously named conservative training camp, The Leadership Institute, and former field director of Rich Tarrant's failed senate campaign.
The release deftly pointed out the following:
1. Liberal student groups outnumber conservative groups six to two.
2. Freshmen are subjected to mandatory classes on racism and multiculturalism.
3. UVM professors vote overwhelmingly Democrat.
My questions to the authors of this fine piece of nonfiction, CampusReform.org, are many: Have you ever been to Vermont? Do you know who we voted to represent us in Washington? Does UVM look like Oral Roberts or Liberty universities? Have you ever seen a dready hippie vote, let alone vote for a conservative? Is this one of those joke emails?
Since this is the season of college rankings, I suppose the email makes sense. When I clicked on the link for further info about UVM's liberal bias, I was surprised to find out that the state's largest university is the 11th most liberal in the country. I thought UVM would rank higher. Hell, it has gender-neutral bathrooms and trans-friendly housing options! Well, at least UVM can take comfort in its recent ranking as the fourth best weed-smoking school in the nation.
The criteria they used to determine this liberal bias are, methinks, a bit unscientific. They looked at how green the school is (apparently excessively) and the fact that, in 2009, students protested over conservative Ben Stein being named graduation speaker. They replaced him with known liberal sympathizer, former Vermont governor and ex-presidential candidate Howard "Yeeeaahhh!" Dean. Here are my questions: Since when did being environmentally responsible become a liability? And since when did listening to the majority become amoral?
CampusReform.org's complete list of the 100 Most Liberal Colleges isn't finished yet — they've only released 100 through 42 — you know, to build suspense. So if you want to know just how liberal Harvard, Yale and Princeton are, sorry, you'll just have to wait.