In the last few weeks I have received an abundance of letters from gals concerned and confused about the difference between peeing and female ejaculation/squirting during sex. Some of you describe warm, urine-like sensations upon orgasm. Some of you express embarrassment over instances where you thought you may have peed when you should have been cooing in ecstasy.
Here's a little insight and, I hope, some reassurance to help you sex it up with confidence and clarity.
Many studies have been published on the subject of female ejaculation and what it is, exactly, or even if it exists at all. After consulting the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, WebMD, WomensHealth.com and my own doctor, I can share the following: Female ejaculation is indeed a result of intense G-spot stimulation. Upon orgasm, fluid shoots out of the vulva or vagina.
Very often the fluid contains a natural chemical called prostate-specific antigen (PSA). This indicates that it probably came from structures called Skene's glands — which are like the female equivalent of the male's prostate. They are very tiny structures located at the opening of the urethra. Because the fluid travels along this canal, it can contain traces of urine, which is why women are often horrified that they may have wet the bed. Also, the liquid can be white or clear, so it's confusing.
There's a lot of negative residual stigma from childhood about wetting the bed, so the idea of this happening as an adult in the throes of passion can leave a person feeling embarrassed and concerned. But female ejaculation is normal. Studies show traces of PSA in the urine that is expelled after sex. So, either way, it's coming out. Sex is messy, and that's cool. The amount of lubrication a woman secretes during sex varies, and there's nothing wrong with you if that amount requires changing the sheets.
It is also important to note that many women do leak a little urine during sex, and during other activities, as well. This is called "stress incontinence," and it happens to a great number of females when they sneeze, cough or laugh. It's particularly common in those who have had children. Also totally normal and OK.
If this is happening to you at other times, or all the time, then you might consider the following: Empty your bladder before sex, avoid highly caffeinated beverages and/or see a gynecologist who can explain how to perform Kegel exercises to strengthen the pelvic floor.
Whether it's pee or ejaculation that flows from your loins during sex, you needn't be ashamed. Being confident and aware of what is happening to your body is key. So is sharing intimate moments with someone who's pumped to be along for the messy ride, and who appreciates you without judgment. Just keep a towel handy!