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Taking It Offline

Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...


Published December 12, 2012 at 11:59 a.m.

Dear Mistress,

Last year, I corresponded with this guy through an online dating site. We wrote back and forth a number of times, but we kept pushing back a date because he was busy with travel and opening a business. Then he just stopped writing back. I was bummed, but whatever — I know online dating isn’t a sure thing, so I just moved on (a bit grudgingly). Before you start wondering if this guy was a total fraud, I have since seen media coverage of him and his business, so I know he’s real. I also know he still has an active profile on the dating site.

Now, I’ll get to the juicy part of the story. Fast forward one year: I was at a craft fair and spotted him from across the room. Being the brazen, overly confident woman I am, I “accidentally” bumped into him, forcing an exchange. I introduced myself, and he recognized me right away. We had a quick, pleasant exchange with no awkwardness. I was hoping that he would get a look at me and not be able to resist picking up the conversation again, but here I am five days later with no word from him. My question for you is: Did I do the right thing by forcing a meeting, or did I just embarrass myself? What’s the etiquette when you see an online acquaintance in real life?


In-Person Polly

Dear Polly,

Dating is a full-contact sport, and I commend you for not sitting on the sidelines. You did the right thing by keeping it short and sweet. Saying, “Hey asshole, I’m the best thing you never had” would have been too confrontational (yet probably more satisfying).

Sometimes it’s worth taking a risk and putting yourself out there, even if you don’t get the outcome you’re hoping for. For all you know, he could have unintentionally dropped the ball when life got busy last year. If he were feeling too sheepish to reconnect with you, you gave him another shot by introducing yourself. As for why he hasn’t contacted you since bumping into him, I can’t say. What I can tell you is that he’s missing out on a brave and determined woman who isn’t afraid to go after what she wants — traits that will serve you well with or without him.

Work it, girl