| Seven Days

News + Opinion » News

Stephen Colbert Uses Ben & Jerry's To Fix Women's Unsightly Armpits


Last night on the Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert addressed a little known female problem: unsightly armpits. And thank god he did. I didn't realize how much I hated my own pits until he pointed out just how revolting they are. But luckily, as Colbert reported, there's something I can do about it. Unilever-owned Dove brand recently launched a product aimed at improving the look of a lady's underarms. It's called Dove Ultimate go sleeveless deodorant and it claims to make my pits more attractive in just five days. Five days to go from yow to wow? Sign me up.

But as Colbert probed deeper into the issue, he discovered that the problem of gag-inducing armpits wasn't really a problem at all. It was just something Unilever made up (gasp). In light of this realization, Colbert wondered if any Unilever product, including his own signature Ben & Jerry's flavor, Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream, would solve this non-problem. The result of his wondering is one very sticky armpit. Ice cream bit starts at 3:58.