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Somber Sober

Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...


Dear Mistress,

I have been dating a guy for about a month. I met him through friends about a year ago and was psyched when he actually asked me out (I was crushing hard). We have a great time together, but he almost always has too much to drink when we hang out. One time he became distraught in a bar, saying things like, “There’s no way a girl like you would like a guy like me.” Then he abruptly left, leaving me alone. He’s also been too drunk to get it up, so we have yet to have sex (although the foreplay has been awesome). The final straw happened a few nights ago: I got a call from him at 1:30 in the morning on a Tuesday. I didn’t answer, and his voicemail made no sense. He was slurring and said that I was “probably still in Florida” — a trip that I had taken two weeks before, and we’d hung out since then. When we talked the next day, he said he didn’t remember drunk-dialing me.

I think he’s really great, but in these drunken moments, I find him incredibly unattractive. I have addressed my concerns openly with him yet he continues to binge drink — I hear stories from mutual friends that he drinks almost nightly. I want to end it, but I feel like I might be overreacting. Mistress, does he have a problem?


Somber Sober

Dear Somber Sober,

It’s not up to you or me to decide if this guy has a problem with alcohol. However, it is up to you to decide whether you’re willing to put up with his drunken antics — and it sounds like you’ve had your fill.

It’s time to “86” your binge-drinking boyfriend and move on to someone with a more sober outlook on life. When you’re dumping him, don’t dish out drinking advice like an old-fashioned bartender. Simply say, “I’m past the point in my life where alcohol takes center stage in my social life. I’m glad you like to have fun and wish you all the best, but your level of drinking is too much for me.”

Your reason for ending things might be hard for him to swallow, but it’s time for you to see what else life has on tap.

Down the hatch,