Smell My Finger | Mistress Maeve | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

Arts + Life » Mistress Maeve

Smell My Finger

Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...


Dear Mistress,

I love having sex with my girl — she’s the most open-minded, freaky woman I’ve ever met. We have sex for hours and hours; nothing is off limits. When we’re finished, I feel like I have her all over me, literally. Sometimes, even after I wash my hands and take a shower, I can still smell her scent on my fingers. Mostly, I think it’s hot, but if I have to go to work (or, worse, go see my family), I get paranoid that people are going to smell her on me. Is it normal for that smell to linger even after showering? What can I do to eliminate the odor on my hands?


Smell My Finger

Dear SMF,

Ah, yes, the lingering smell of sex. If you Google this phenomenon of the human body, the search turns up a bunch of nonsense written by internet trolls, asserting that any woman who leaves a lingering smell most assuredly has an STI. This notion is ridiculous — healthy women can leave a lingering scent behind, especially after longer interludes of sex. When sweat mixes with body fluids, it can leave a lasting impression that’s unconquerable by simple soap and water. (Side note: Sometimes odor does indicate an infection when coupled with discharge and discomfort. Any woman experiencing these symptoms should see a doctor ASAP.)

When in doubt about sanitation and the human body, ask a nurse. My nurse friends work with an array of body fluids on a daily basis and know how to deal. Among the most plausible of their suggestions is to wash your hands with hot, soapy water, followed by a quick rinse with lemon juice. Another friend suggests scrubbing your hands with a minty toothpaste. My male nurse friend swears by lathering up his hands with shaving cream to eliminate the most unpleasant of odors.

My advice to you, SMF, is to have lots and lots of awesome sex with your lady so that you may try all of the above methods. Please report back — inquiring minds want to know.

Coming clean,