Shy and Clueless | Mistress Maeve | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

Arts + Life » Mistress Maeve

Shy and Clueless

Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...


Dear Mistress,

I am great at giving people dating advice, and yet I am horrible at trying to talk to the hotties who cross my path. I’m 21 and could definitely use some tips on how to talk to guys. I feel like it’s cheesy to hit on the hot bouncer or barista when he’s at work — I mean, he’s only smiling at me because it’s his job, right?

I like to hang out in downtown Burlington. With all the online dating going on, how do I actually meet someone in person? What are some “how-to” guidelines for flirting with strangers?


Shy and Clueless

Dear Shy and Clueless,

Did you see the business card that went viral earlier this month? A smart graduate student, perhaps also having a hard time meeting people, created a card quoting this spring’s mind-numbing pop anthem “Call Me Maybe.” The card reads, “Hey, I just met you. And this is crazy. But here’s my number. So call me, maybe?” Sheer brilliance.

I’m not suggesting you create a card to pass around Burlington, but use this enterprising grad student’s idea as inspiration to meet people. While it’s true that the barista or bouncer is working, he has also chosen an exceptionally social job where flirting is commonplace. All you need is a little practice. The next time you’re ordering coffee or handing over your ID, I challenge you to insert one question into the exchange. It can be as simple as, “What do you suggest, the latte or the mocha?” or “How’s the band tonight?” And never underestimate the power of a smile.

Don’t worry if your line comes out corny — that’s what flirting is: being open, friendly and little bit vulnerable. If the guy is interested, you’ll know by his response.

In this day and age we communicate constantly via technology, but we have no idea how to say a simple “hello” in person. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to smile at that hottie and strike up some conversation.

Call me, maybe?