Ive had, shall we say, a colorful sexual history. I started having sex at 17 and havent stopped. Now Im a 30-something woman who has experienced everything from BDSM to threesomes. I am proud of my rich sex history and dont regret a single act of it. That said, I now find myself falling for a man who is my sexual polar opposite. He has had a handful of long-term sexual partners, whereas I have had myriad one-offs and casual flings. I know that hes open-minded (and extremely good in bed), but I cant help but feel a little nervous to tell him the actual number of partners Ive had. Hes Midwestern, for Gods sake!
When this question arises, how do I handle it? If I refuse to tell him, I feel like Im forsaking my feminist identity as a sex-positive woman. If I tell him, I worry hell feel intimidated and inadvertently sabotage the good thing we have going.
Kudos to you for relinquishing your relationship V-card and to a nice Midwestern boy!
It doesnt surprise me that hes good in bed sometimes quality, not quantity, can make the best lovers. With your combined experience, you two make a power couple in the bedroom. You bring the benefits of having numerous partners and adventures, and he brings the advantages of keeping a select few partners satisfied long term.
When the time comes, be honest about your sexual history without rattling off every detail keeping some things private does not revoke your membership to the sex-positive feminist club. If he asks you for specific numbers, try something like, Its never been important to me to keep a tally. It seems Ive had more lovers than you, but Im more interested in our current chemistry than I am about our past partners.
If you sense him becoming uncomfortable, reinforce your feelings for him let him know youre falling for him and that youre invested in the relationship. Suggest that you both get a clean bill of health from your medical providers and seal the deal on this Midwestern romance. Remember, if hes going to sabotage your relationship out of some self-righteous moral bullshit, or feelings of inadequacy, hes not right for you.
More is more,
Fill out my online form.