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Shattered Heart

Mistress Maeve


Published May 5, 2009 at 8:32 p.m.

Dear Mistress Maeve,

Recently, I was dumped by the woman of my dreams. She made me reconsider ideas I had previously rejected, namely marriage and kids. Considering all these new possibilities, I experienced a mental switch so dramatic that I never considered it could end.

When she ended it, she said I was good and did nothing wrong - that it was all her, not me. But, I can't help asking, "What could have I done to make it better?" I find it hard to believe that, if I did everything right, I don't deserve the chance to be with her. I suffer every day with this loss. It has been a few weeks, and I don't feel better. How will I get over this?

Shattered Heart


Dear S.H.,

What could you have done to make it better? Absolutely nothing.

I'm sorry to break it to you, but the whole "It's not you, it's me" explanation is nothing more than a polite way of saying, "I'm just not that into you." If she felt you were right for her, nothing would stop her from being with you - but that's not the case. She's moving on, and it's time for you to do the same.

I know you're going through a difficult time, but you have to focus on the positive. A good friend likes to remind me that people come into our lives for "a season, a reason or a lifetime - and they're all important." No matter how brief the encounter, we can learn valuable lessons from every person we meet. This woman came into your life and expanded your horizons, allowing you to entertain the idea of marriage and children - this knowledge will only make you a better partner down the road. I know it's difficult for you to see now, but you will be a stronger, more complete person because of this failed relationship.

Hang in there,