Sex Is My Life, and I'm Good at It. So Why Did My Guy Dump Me? | Ask the Rev. | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

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Sex Is My Life, and I'm Good at It. So Why Did My Guy Dump Me?


Published February 17, 2021 at 10:00 a.m.
Updated February 17, 2021 at 2:49 p.m.

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Dear Reverend,

Sex is my life, and I'm good at it. So why did my guy dump me?

Lonesome Lover (male, 23)

Dear Lonesome Lover,

I was going to lead with "I hate to break it to ya," but I'm actually very happy to clue you in to this nugget of wisdom: Sex is not the most important thing in a relationship. Of course it can be fun and fantastic, but sex is only a teensy-weensy part of what makes a couple click.

I don't mean to downplay your talents, but pretty much anyone can be "good" at sex. It's not particularly difficult — unless you're going for some real fancy business. As director-comedian Mel Brooks once said, "Sex is like pizza. Even when it's bad, it's pretty good." It's much more of a challenge to find someone you're compatible with in other ways. Someone you can enjoy doing boring, everyday things with, because that's what makes up a good chunk of life — especially these days.

Your guy was likely looking for more than just a sex partner. If all the two of you shared was a great time in the sack, there was no real reason for him to stick around.

Do you really believe sex is your life? I suggest you get a few other hobbies. One of the keys to a deep, long-lasting relationship is being able to be your true self with someone. If all you offer is a delicious dive in the sheets, you may wind up splashing around solo in the shallow end of life.

Good luck and God bless,

The Reverend

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