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Seeing Red

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Dear Mistress,

My partner and I are long distance, sometimes only seeing each other once a month because of his work schedule. Occasionally our weekend together falls when I have my period. He’s not squeamish about a little blood, but it keeps us from having the usual uninhibited, acrobatic sex we usually have. I’ve heard that it’s possible to have sex while wearing a reusable cup instead of tampons or pads. Is that true? How does it work? Can he feel it?


Seeing Red

Dear Seeing Red,

Kudos to you and your partner for not running at the sight of blood. Women are often at their horniest during menstruation, and a good orgasm has been known to reduce cramps, so it’s a great time to get it on.

Early models of the menstrual cup have been around since the 1930s. Cups are inserted into the vagina to collect period flow (as opposed to tampons, which absorb it). The good news is, there’s one style of cup that is safe to wear during sex: the Softcup. Worn around the cervix and secured by the pubic bone, the cup is said to provide “less messy sex on your period.” I’ve talked to some guys who say they can feel the cup when they’re having sex and some who cannot — it all has to do with penis size and thrust depth. But be careful: Another leading brand of menstrual cup, DivaCup, is not OK to wear during sex — it’s more bell shaped and worn closer to the opening of the vagina.

My advice is to grab a Softcup and experiment. To be safe, lay out a dark towel beneath you and keep some baby wipes nearby — you might not want to try the acrobatics just yet. And remember, menstrual cups are not a form of birth control, nor will they protect you from sexually transmitted infections, so take the necessary precautions.

Flow Down Low,