I’d been on a few dates with this guy — let’s call him “Dick” — so when he invited me out for happy hour with some of his friends, I took it as a sign that we were getting a little more serious. When I got to the bar, he was already drunk. He didn’t introduce me to anyone, so I had to introduce myself. He was a loud-mouthed jerk the entire time, and when the bill came, he didn’t have enough cash to cover the tab, so he announced to the bartender that I would “blow him for the rest.” I was mortified. All his friends heard it. I didn’t know what to do, so I stood up and walked out. That was a week ago, and he hasn’t reached out to apologize.
I ran into a mutual friend of ours, and he said he heard what happened. He said that while Dick shouldn’t have said that, he thought I “may have overreacted.” He said that Dick feels badly and that I should reach out to him. What?! Am I living in the Twilight Zone? Mistress, please tell me I didn’t overreact.
See Dick Run
Dear See Dick Run,
A guy you’re dating — a guy whose duty it is to defend your honor — told a bartender, in front of all of his friends, that you would perform oral sex to cover his bar tab. No, you did not overreact by walking out. In fact, you may have squandered a rare opportunity in life to throw a drink in someone’s face. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate a good off-color joke — but given the situation, he crossed the line.
The real problem is that he hasn’t apologized. Even if he thinks you overreacted, any guy who’s worth his salt would have run after you or waited until he sobered up to call and apologize. People make mistakes and say stupid things all the time. In the grand scheme of things, what he said might not be a big deal — but not apologizing is inexcusable and a total deal breaker for a relationship.
When he does come calling to apologize, simply say, “Thank you for the apology. I wish you well.” Maybe next time, he won’t be such a Dick.