Savvy Sexting | Mistress Maeve | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

Arts + Life » Mistress Maeve

Savvy Sexting

Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...

by

comment

Dear Mistress,

I recently sent my girlfriend a photo of my bulging junk in tight Jockeys. She wasn’t into it, though. She said women aren’t visual when it comes to sexual desire. However, she often compliments my rear end in tight pants — and she watches porn. Other women I know seem to be stimulated visually, at least somewhat. Am I missing something?

Signed,

Junk Hunk

Dear Junk Hunk,

First of all, your girlfriend shouldn’t be making grand statements about what women like and do not like. She’s not every woman, so how could she know? Certainly not every lady gets off on dick pics, but some of us (yours truly, for example) enjoy looking at the male form in all its glory. It would be far more constructive for your girlfriend to own her feelings: “Your crotch photos do nothing for me. Sorry.” Sure, your ego might get bruised, but at least she wouldn’t be blaming her indifference on a sweeping stereotype of women.

That said, I take issue with your comparison of dick pics to watching porn. How are they the same? Porno offers action, sounds, sweat (and sometimes bad dialog and cheesy ’70s music). For your girlfriend, a static image of your junk in Jockeys simply doesn’t measure up to the excitement of porn.

As for her complimenting your derriere, she’s flirting with you! She obviously enjoys the view, but the interaction is more important to her than the visual — commenting on your posterior and watching your reaction is a turn-on for her. She’s preparing you for the moment when she’ll slide those trousers off your tight tuckus. Again, it’s not about staring at your body part — her mind is titillated by the tête-à-tête.

My advice? Quit sending her pictures of your johnson and stimulate her mind instead. Be direct and ask her, “Okay, you don’t like pictures of my genitalia, so what could I send that would pique your interest?”

Happy sexting,

mm

Fill out my online form.


Add a comment

Seven Days moderates comments in order to ensure a civil environment. Please treat the comments section as you would a town meeting, dinner party or classroom discussion. In other words, keep commenting classy! Read our guidelines...

Note: Comments are limited to 300 words.