Now, with the Olympics in full swing, our nation's best athletes have their turn at trading in their integrity for some greenbacks. Snowboarding's wet dream Gretchen Bleiler is hawking Visa credit cards, soul-patchy Apolo Ohno's face is plastered on the side of an Alaska Air Boeing 737, and just about every American Olympian has traded his or her soul for McDonald's, which is trying to fool people into believing that elite athletes gobble up Chicken McNuggets and Filets-O-Fish every night at their training tables.
The cleverly named PETA campaign, Save the Seals, seeks to bring shame to the government of Canada during their shining moment — the 2010 Vancouver Olympics. Now Teets is in on the clubbing. Of Canada. She joins a pile of other fameballs like Perez Hilton, Kelly Osbourne and Brody Jenner, who have already endorsed the cause by agreeing to wear a T-shirt featuring a cute baby seal in a photo.
If people choose to buy American maple syrup instead of stuff from up north because they hate seal clubbing, Vermont, being the largest producer of maple syrup in the U.S., stands to gain big-style-y. And by extension, so too does Hannah's charity. Are you picking up what I'm putting down? Yeah, I'm talking about a conspiracy. Call it the Hannah Teter Seal/Syrup Shadiness.
No attempts were made to get a comment from Teter on this issue. However, attempts were made to watch this video of Teets' photo shoot, but were ultimately scuttled due to my inability to see animals getting beaned by men in orange slickers. FYI, check out Hannah's silky bloomers. Nice.