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Roommates to Mates?

Mistress Maeve


Dear Mistress,

I recently broke up with my boyfriend, and I have a dilemma. I've been roommates with Joe (not his real name) for a few months, and he's a great guy. Whenever we're home, we laugh and talk a lot. We went to a friend's party together and had a great time, but I can't tell if he is interested in me. Considering my recent state of singleness, I'm hesitant to get involved with Joe, because I don't want to transfer any residual feelings I have for my ex onto him.

To remove temptation, I set Joe up with a friend of mine. I've heard they are having fun, and now I am envious that my friend gets to enjoy Joe's romantic interest. My questions are: Has roommate-turned-cuddle-buddy ever produced a noncomplex relationship that didn't end badly? Should I have bit the bullet and told Joe about my interest in him and not introduced him to my friend? Can I still tell him, even though he's gone on dates with my friend?

Awaiting your sage advice,

Close to Home


Dear Close to Home,

Does Joe know he's living in a post-breakup crazy house? You say you like him, yet you set him up with your friend. You say you're ready to start dating again, yet you're concerned about residual feelings for your ex. It's perfectly natural to act irrationally after a breakup - but you're bringing it a little too close to home.

I suspect you're crushing on your roommate to occupy your time and make you feel less lonely. Furthermore, you most likely set him up with your friend so you could go on crushing without having to make any moves. Let it go. Leave the drama alone and take the time you need to get over your boyfriend.

However, if your home fires continue to burn for Joe, you'll have to move out and then let your feelings be known. Trust me - "roommates-turned-cuddle-buddies" usually turn into "roommates-turned-enemies."

Room for Mates,