Obituary: Kalvin DeForge, 1992-2022

30-year-old was deeply empathetic and loved others fiercely

Published December 27, 2022 at 6:00 a.m.
Updated December 27, 2022 at 2:58 p.m.

Courtesy
Kalvin DeForge

Kalvin DeForge passed from this world on December 16, 2022, at the age of 30. He loved his father, Jake B. DeForge of Colchester, Vt., and his mother, Angela Allard of South Hero, Vt., unconditionally. He adored his sisters, Jessica DeForge and Brianna Lareau, as well as Joe Lareau, whom he referred to as his stepfather.

Kalvin was known for his incredible intellect, quick wit, charm, tenacity and honesty. He loved fiercely, as his friends can attest to. Many didn't know that Kalvin was constantly plagued by anxiety, fear and sadness. He mourned the lack of real conversation and connection in the world. He was deeply empathetic and felt the pain of the universe. But Kalvin wasn’t his illness. He was a tender, enthusiastic, loving soul. He loved teaching as much as he loved learning. He wanted you to understand the science and the history and the background of the world. He loved his cat, Schwill, with all of his heart. He gave the neighbor’s dogs love and treats every time they came to our driveway. He asked his grandmother about her younger life and really listened.

Courtesy
Kalvin DeForge

He was enthralled with vintage fashion. He was so excited to share the history of each piece that he bought or wished he could buy; it was never just the look but the story of the designer and the time period behind it and what made it unique. He read the works of ancient philosophers, scientists and poets. He loved every kind of music and sang at the top of his voice, dancing around the living room. He was amazingly funny, and his one-liners are legendary. He loved the shock factor and the reaction to his words. He was a big presence in any room he entered and wanted to make everyone around him better, whether by teaching them, listening to them, making them laugh or holding a space for them when they needed it. He was a true friend to many.

Addiction darkened his door many years ago as a way to numb his pain. Being sober meant he was raw and vulnerable and suffering. Eighteen years of therapy, being loved to his core and constant self-exploration couldn’t fix it. He spoke often of how there really was no place for him in this world. I like to imagine he is now sitting with Nietzsche and Joseph Campbell and Shakespeare. He had a lot he wanted to talk about … and maybe bring them up to speed just a little.

I hope there is peace on the other side. In the words of a close friend: Rest in greatness, Kal.

Donations in his memory can be made to Spectrum Youth & Family Services at spectrumvt.org or mailed to 31 Elmwood Ave., Burlington, VT 05401.