Dear Mistress Maeve,
I’m dating a girl, and it’s going good. When we have sex, I am very satisfied. She is very oral, and I have had the best orgasms of my life from her blow jobs. The problem is, I’m not sure I’m returning the favor. I don’t want to brag, but I’ve satisfied many women and tend to think I know what a female orgasm looks and feels like. There’s something about her orgasms that seems fake. They’re very theatrical, and she doesn’t seem to have that blissful exhaustion afterwards that I’ve witnessed in other women.
I always ask her if she’s satisfied, and she swears she is, but I just don’t believe it. What can I do? If she’s faking and lying to me, I’m going to be pissed off when all I really want to do is make her feel good.
Give and Take
Dear Give and Take,
Please, oh wise sage, tell us what a female orgasm looks and feels like — because last time I checked, all women are different. Sure, you might witness vaginal muscle pulsation, arched back, quickened heart rate and speaking in tongues — but, honestly, all those things are pretty easy to fake. Some of us are theatrical, and some of us become more chipper after orgasm than blissed out. Maybe your girl is having great orgasms and your worry is all for naught.
That said, an unfortunate number of women do fake it. Sometimes women simply don’t know how to get off or to ask for what they need. How long have you two been together? Sometimes women need more time to build intimacy before the big O will come out of hiding. Whatever the reason, the best course of action is to have a frank conversation with her away from the bedroom. Forget about being pissed off — if you want her to let her guard down and be honest with you, you’ll have to go first. Let her know that you desire to be the best lover she’s ever had and that you’ll stop at nothing to get her off. If she insists she’s orgasming, you’ll need to take her word for it. If it turns out she’s not getting off, be ready to put your money where your mouth is — it’ll be time to get down to the business of figuring out what makes your lady really tick.