I was with my ex-girlfriend for six months, but then I met another girl at a party and totally fell hard. I knew that I had to follow my feelings and pursue this new relationship, but I didn’t want to hurt my then-girlfriend. Instead of acting like a man and being honest with her, I let my new relationship go too far and ended up cheating. Of course, when I told my girlfriend at the time she was upset and I felt like an ass. At the time, I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I was in love with the other woman.
Well, she definitely knows now, and she’s pissed. She is bad-mouthing me and my new girlfriend everywhere she goes. What’s worse is that she slept with my cousin (he has since apologized, and we’re cool). I can only imagine she did this to get back at me. They’re not dating or anything, but she made sure I heard about it. My question is, how can I get her to stop? My new girlfriend is getting pretty tired of it, and I don’t want to lose her.
Dear Exed Out,
It sounds like you know the error of your ways, so I won’t spend too much time beating you up. That said, it’s worth pointing out that a little sensitivity on your part may have gone a long way in preventing some of this drama. If you had a time machine, I would tell you to go back and break up with your ex cleanly — cheating is a cowardly way to get out of a relationship, and now you’re paying the price.
As for your ex and her ridiculous behavior, she’s hurt, angry and embarrassed. She wants to get back at you, and she doesn’t care who she uses in the process (namely your cousin, who should have known better than to stick his business where it doesn’t belong). My advice is to ignore her. I know it might be difficult, but engaging her will only fuel her fire. Eventually she’ll tire of the bad-mouthing and (hopefully) find someone new.
Instead, focus on your new girlfriend. Ask her how you can best support her through this adolescent assault from your ex. Above all, let her know that you’ve learned your lesson and that you’ll always treat her with more respect than you paid your ex.
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