My wife and I have been together for eight years. She's suddenly become obsessed with having anal sex. The idea has always kind of grossed me out, so I've never tried it. I'm willing to give it a shot, but I'm worried that I'll hurt her. Any tips?
Anally Anxious (male, 35)
Dear Anally Anxious,
First off, congratulations. Hearing about a long-term couple who wants to try new things and keep their sex life spicy warms the cockles of my heart.
Anal sex isn't anything to freak out about. It might seem icky to some because we're accustomed to the anus as an exit route for poop — but it's also another hole we can stick things in for fun. Nothing gross should happen as long as there's no train waiting to leave the station and the tracks are clean, if you know what I'm sayin'. Here are some other pointers...
Never go straight from anal to vaginal sex without a thorough washing. That goes for toys, penises and whatever else you might put up there, even if you use a condom. The bacteria transfer could cause some serious problems.
Unlike the trusty ol' vagina, the anus doesn't produce its own lubrication. So keep plenty of your favorite lube at the ready. It also might be a good idea to start off with your finger, a dildo or anal beads. Whatever you use, take it slow. Let your wife control the speed and depth of penetration. And don't forget to multitask and stimulate other parts of her body while you're at it.
At some point, you might even want to be on the receiving end. People born with a penis have a prostate gland, which is often referred to as the "male G-spot." Anal penetration is a fantastic way to stimulate it. I hear a P-spot orgasm is out of this world.
Good luck and God bless,