My Husband Loves Vermont, but I Hate It Here | Ask the Rev. | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

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My Husband Loves Vermont, but I Hate It Here


Published September 1, 2021 at 10:00 a.m.
Updated September 1, 2021 at 12:06 p.m.


Dear Reverend,

My husband is the love of my life. If it were just me and him in a bubble, it would be perfect. Reality, however, has burst that bubble. We recently moved to Vermont from another state because my husband hated it there. Vermont is paradise to him, while I think it is hell on Earth (sorry, Vermonters). I have been trying my best to adjust, but I'm on antidepressants and seeing a shrink due to the anxiety of being here. My husband is aware, but he just hopes that, poof, one day I will love it here. I'm certain that will never happen. What should I do?

Paradise Popped (female, 41)

Dear Paradise Popped,

As a born-and-raised Vermonter, it hurts my heart to hear this, but to each their own. I wish I knew what it is about our little state that irks you so much. If you're from a bigger city, the lack of hustle and bustle might be bothersome. Perhaps it's the weather? Mosquitoes gettin' you down? Whatever it is must be more serious than that, if you've sought professional help.

Everyone needs a sense of community to feel at home. Moving somewhere new in the midst of a pandemic makes establishing that especially difficult. I could tell you to go out and make some friends, but I know that's not easy. If you haven't already, find a job. If church is your bag, visit a few. Meet up with people who share your interests by joining a group or taking a class. You may even find something perfect in the calendar section of this newspaper!

If none of that appeals, focus on building your bubble paradise here with your husband. He should be doing his best to share what he loves so much about Vermont. I mean, have you been on Lake Champlain? Have you had a creemee? Conversely, you could try bringing a little bit of what you miss about your old home here, if possible.

Try to keep an open mind. If you like, drop me a line. I'd be happy to meet up for a coffee or a cocktail and try to win you over to the Vermont side.

Good luck and God bless,

The Reverend

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