I have a friend who is in her mid-twenties, and her boyfriend is almost 40. They've been together for a while, but they've both cheated on each other. She has decided that the best way to fix their relationship is to have a baby. I've told her numerous times that she should wait until they're in a good place. Obviously, she didn't listen, because she recently told me that she's pregnant. I'm worried about her, but I don't know what to do.
Fretful Friend (female, 32)
Dear Fretful Friend,
I'm pretty sure you would have mentioned it if the boyfriend was physically abusive or if you felt that your friend was in danger of having more than her heart broken. I'm assuming the worst thing that's happening is infidelity. There is the age difference, but to each their own, and they're both adults.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: You don't cheat on someone you truly love. Trust me. I messed around on pretty much everyone I was with until I met my late husband. In your friend's case, both partners did the deed. Adding the stress of pregnancy, childbirth and caring for a newborn is definitely not going to do them any favors.
But the toothpaste is out of the tube, and you can't shove it back in at this point. Your pal wanted to get pregnant, and she did. Hopefully the guy is onboard and won't leave her high and dry.
If you care about your friend, all you can really do is be there to support her emotionally and, quite likely, be a shoulder to cry on when the relationship crashes and burns. Or maybe they'll wind up happy as can be — stranger things have happened. At the very least, I hope they find a way to co-parent the child amicably. Whatever happens, don't promise to babysit.
Good luck and God bless,