I recently was reading about the male G-spot. I was really excited to know that men have one, so I wanted to make my boyfriend feel good by touching it. But the other night I did, and he freaked out. I started to make a move over there, and he was not into it. He got distracted, then made an excuse to stop, and then he left my place. Now when we are intimate, he is weird and not all into it like usual. He's never been very adventurous and mostly likes to be on top and not really try stuff. I don't really know what I did wrong. I thought it was supposed to feel good. Should I try again? What would you do?
Dear G-Spot Mishap,
I think it's great that you are taking some initiative to explore and expand your sexual relationship with your partner. You obviously hit a nerve with him (pun intended), or there is some confusion. I think this can be easily remedied.
First, are you sure you know where the male G-spot is? Maybe you got lost on your way. The G-spot is the prostate. If you're not up to speed on male anatomy, the prostate is a grape-size gland that resides just a few inches inside the anal canal. If you want to stimulate the area, you can massage the perineum, which is a nerve-heavy section between the testicles and the anus. If stimulated correctly, it can offer a great deal of awesome pleasure.
Also, stimulating the perineum is a lot less invasive than inserting your finger in the anus, which is what he may have thought you were going to do. And since he didn't know what you were up to, or hasn't had the pleasure of enjoying stimulation there, he might very likely have been confused and uncomfortable.
Next time you see your boyfriend, tell him what you had intended on that fateful day. Also suggest that you want to try new things or explore other areas of pleasure for you both. He might even be into it. I would think that an intimate chat should clear up any mixed messages or embarrassment.
If he is into the idea of expanding your sexual horizons together, invite him to share what positions turn him on, or what fantasies he's had but never tried. Maybe you're the first partner to suggest some change! Maybe he's just in a little sex rut and doesn't know it, or doesn't know how to get out of it. Create a space for open dialogue — and mutual trust — and you might find he's ready for the kind of fun you seek. Good luck!