Whether it’s because of your New Year’s resolutions to date more or simply the snuggle-cravings Vermont winters induce, I get a slew of letters this time of year asking about online dating. Rather than print weeks' worth of digital dating dilemmas, I’m offering you a roundup of the most common pitfalls to avoid when wooing on the World Wide Web:
Turn That Frown Upside-down: When creating your online dating profile, remember that a positive attitude is sexy. Avoid talking about the ex who broke your heart or how you don’t think online dating will ever work for you — no one wants to date a Negative Nelly. Focus on the good stuff: How would your best friends describe you? What are the accomplishments you’re most proud of? Remember, like attracts like; to land a healthy relationship, present the healthiest side of you.
Say Cheese: Ladies and gentlemen, stop taking photos of yourselves in bathroom mirrors with your cellphones. Let’s class things up a bit, okay? If you don’t have any date-worthy photos, ask a friend to snap a few of your good side. And, please, only post recent photos — you might think you look the same as you did ten years ago, but your date may not agree.
Less Is More: A common mistake among online daters is exchanging too many emails before meeting face-to-face. Correspond a few times, exchange witticisms and make sure you’re compatible enough for a first date. Do not send epic emails back and forth for weeks, relating intimate details of your lives before meeting in person. Over-corresponding creates a false sense of intimacy and can lead to at least one dater getting his or her hopes up. You simply cannot assess chemistry until you’re in the same room.
Stay tuned next week for how to plan a better online first date.