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Lock, Stock and Three Smoking Government Bailouts

Published September 24, 2008 at 5:30 p.m.

With the bailout of Wall Street for a cool $700 billion, people all over the nation are growing even more concerned with not only the state of the economy, but also government’s role in business. The monumental collapse of the Macs — Freddie, Fannie and Bernie — promotes even more bad feeling. The CEOs and top executives, despite being responsible for bad lending habits, questionable business practices, potential fraud, and atrocious television shows, are collecting incredible sums of money for the daft decisions that adversely affect scores of people worldwide. The lesson seems to be: If you screw up, it needs to be on a historic, monumental scale.

The average Joe isn't rewarded nearly as handsomely for their mishaps and brain blunders. I screw up on an oriental chicken salad, I receive a crappy tip. They collapse the American financial system and receive a yacht! Maybe government will reduce the hypocrisy and swallow all underperforming businesses. Who knows, maybe Uncle Billy Tom’s Fine Dining and Live Bait Shop will see a revival from government intervention and I will finally become a proud shareholder! I can only dream!

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