Dear Mistress Maeve,
I have been seeing my “friend with benefits” for two years, and I've been desperately in love with him the entire time. Last summer we started getting really close and going out together. I was thrilled, but the dating was short lived. I knew he must be seeing someone else, but it was impossible for me to ignore his midnight booty calls.
I left town for a few months and thought I would get over him, but he sent texts saying how much he missed me and that he was obsessing over me. We sent a lot of dirty texts, and he requested nude pics, which I happily sent. When I came back home a few months ago, he was all of a sudden seeing someone, but he wanted to get together secretly. After some research on Facebook, I figured out that their relationship has been going on since last summer. From the posts on Facebook, they seem to be "in love," but I feel like saying, "If he loves you, why is he sleeping with me?" I know my relationship with him is unhealthy, but I feel like, no matter how much pain he causes me, I will still see him. How do I say no to him when I don't want to?
Can’t Fall Out
Let's get right to the point: Your dude is a douche bag, and he will continue to act accordingly until you end this ridiculous charade of a relationship.
As difficult as it may be to admit, the problem here lies more with you than with him. You know he's a liar, a cheat and a sneak, and yet you can't kick him to the curb. It's time for you to take a serious look inside and figure out why you would allow anyone to use and disrespect you so badly for so long. Before you can say no to him, you'll have to say yes to yourself. Talk to a trusted friend or family member for support. If you suspect your inner journey will be a bumpy road, try seeing a counselor or therapist — believe me, you're worth it.
Unfortunately for this guy (and his so-called girlfriend), he'll probably always be a douche bag. Fortunately for you, with some newfound self-worth, you won't always be a door mat.
Showing him the door,