Junk Stunk | Mistress Maeve | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

Arts + Life » Mistress Maeve

Junk Stunk

Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...


Published June 21, 2011 at 10:48 a.m.

Dear Mistress Maeve,

My boyfriend and I are having an issue. He insists on showering before sex, and I think that’s ridiculous — especially when we’re already making out and I’m turned on, and then I have to wait for him to shower. He’s not a chronic hand washer, nor does he bother to clean up after himself at my apartment, so this one “tidy” habit of his is really annoying. He finally told me that even though he showers every morning, he gets a strong crotch odor at the end of each day. I’ve never noticed any smell, so I think he’s just being overly sensitive — but can you tell me if there’s anything he can do about it (that doesn’t involve ruining my mojo)?


Junk Stunk

Dear Junk Stunk,

First, Mr. Clean needs to rule out infection: Like us ladies, men can easily get yeast infections. If your boyfriend’s crotch stench doesn’t have an accompanying rash or discharge, he’s probably in the clear, but if he sees anything fishy in his nether regions, he should see a doctor ASAP.

Barring any medical reason for his unappealing aroma, your boyfriend is probably being hypercritical about the everyday odor that builds up in a guy’s shorts. Between the inevitable droplets of pee that escape after urination and the sweat accrued over a day’s work, things can get a little funky. I recommend washing thoroughly with mild soap, making sure to get the rear end, taint and head. And make sure he’s wearing boxer shorts, not tightie-whities — with nowhere for them to escape, he could be cooking those odors in a hothouse of cotton all day.

In the grand scheme of things, wanting to be fresh as a daisy for sex isn’t the worst thing in the world. Be glad your man doesn’t want to shower directly following sex — there’s something strange about people who immediately have to wash the “sin” off themselves.

Squeaky clean,