I'm Fine! How Are You? | Kids VT | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

I'm Fine! How Are You?

Home Front: Diaries From a Vermont Military Family

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"How are you?" has become a dreaded question. I don’t really know what to say.

My instant response is usually, “I’m fine! How are you?” That seems to be the answer most of us give to such a question, no matter how we are truly feeling. But now it feels wrong to say I am fine. I’m not always fine. Not at all.

My deployed husband is always on my mind. When you ask me how I am doing, I really want to tell you how much I miss him. I want to tell you I cried taking my kids sledding this weekend, because he was missing it. I want to whine and complain. Instead, I save that for when I am writing here in this space. (Aren’t you so lucky?)

I despise the idea of becoming the person who whines every time someone asks how she is doing. It’s just a courtesy question, anyway. Right? Or do you really want to know how I am? Because if you do, I’ll tell you. But you might want to sit down for it first.

Tasha Lehman
  • Tasha Lehman


Tasha Lehman is a mother of three boys living in Vermont. Her husband, Matt, is a first lieutenant in the Vermont Air National Guard who recently headed overseas for his first deployment. The “Home Front: Diaries from a Vermont military family” series chronicles their journey. Read more about their story in February’s “Use Your Words” essay.

This article was originally published in Seven Days' monthly parenting magazine, Kids VT.