I'm a Heterosexual Female Addicted to Yaoi | Ask the Rev. | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

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I'm a Heterosexual Female Addicted to Yaoi

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Dear Reverend, 

I am a heterosexual female who has recently become addicted to yaoi (Japanese male-on-male comics). I am 99.9 percent confident in my sexuality, but straight relationships now disgust me. These yaoi men are very attractive and have everything I'm looking for in a relationship, but I can obviously find no man out there who fulfills this preference. Aaagh ... please help! Is this normal?

Anime-niac (female, 22)

Dear Anime-niac,

Before your letter, I had never heard of yaoi, so thank you for sending me down that internet rabbit hole. For readers as clueless as me, a nutshell Wikipedia definition of yaoi is "a genre of fictional media originating in Japan that features homoerotic relationships between male characters." Interestingly, it is most often created by women for women. I've never cared for the term "normal," but judging by the number of fan pages and ladies discussing their passion for yaoi online, you are certainly not alone.

The quality of a relationship has nothing to do with sexual orientation or gender identity, but you do need to inhabit the same dimension. These characters you're idealizing are fictional. No human can live up to standards that don't actually exist. (I had the hots for the Pink Panther when I was a kid, but that never would have worked out for a number of reasons.)

I suggest trying to cut down your yaoi time to nip this addiction in the bud. Get outside and get active. I know it's tricky these days, but hang out with some real people. Most importantly, keep your heart and mind open to whatever in-the-flesh experiences may come.

Good luck and God bless,

The Reverend

Reverend's note: I've been getting a lot of emails from women about urinating while masturbating or having sex. We addressed that subject back on January 15, 2020

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