I Want to Know What It Feels Like to Date Someone | Ask the Rev. | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

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I Want to Know What It Feels Like to Date Someone


Published September 23, 2020 at 10:00 a.m.

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Dear Reverend, 

I am an almost 20-year-old virgin girl who has never had a boyfriend. All my crushes wanted nothing more than sex. I'm feeling sad and depressed because I want to know what it feels like to actually date someone. I want to have no fear and be free and able to get out of my comfort zone, but I'm scared. What should I do?

Purely Impatient (female, 19)

Dear Purely Impatient, 

I know you probably don't want to hear this, but you're still very young. At your age (or any age, really), there's absolutely nothing wrong with being a virgin who hasn't dated much. What's more important — and what you should be very proud of — is that you know yourself and your body well enough not to have given in to pressures from these so-called "crushes."

Being a virgin at 19 is way more common than you might think, and plenty of women wait even longer to take the plunge. According to a Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report, 4.8 percent of American women ages 25 to 29 have never had sex. For women ages 30 to 34, it's 2.4 percent; for women ages 35 to 39, it's 1.5 percent. Meeting potential romantic partners isn't easy, especially these days, but you shouldn't be scared. In order to get out of your comfort zone, you need to be truly comfortable with yourself. So don't rush things. Don't think about it too hard. Be yourself and do things you enjoy with people who share your interests, and I'm sure you'll run into "the one" when the time is right.

Good luck and God bless,

The Reverend

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