I have been seeing this guy for a few months and really like him, but I don't like how he kisses. His tongue is like a lizard. I really like everything else about him, but I hate kissing him. What can I do?
Dear Tongue Tied,
We've all been there. Most of us have endured kisses with people who lack passion, use too much teeth or even drool. Some guys will ram their tongues down your throat. Others want to joust with their tongues, like in a porno.
Kissing can be a gateway to deeper intimacy. But it's tough to go gaga for someone whose face you're trying to avoid. According to a study by psychologist Gordon G. Gallup Jr. of the University at Albany, SUNY, 59 percent of men and 66 percent of women have ended a relationship because their partner was a bad kisser.
But kissing is coachable, despite how unromantic that sounds. Since you dig everything else about this guy, why not give him a chance?
There's no good way to tell someone they're a bad kisser, but you might try some body language to get the point across. Like, take control of the kiss. Block his tongue with yours, intertwine them and slow it down. Or pull back a bit. Don't let his reptile tongue have free rein in your mouth. That will send a message.
You could also talk to him directly, but make it hot. Kissing isn't one-size-fits-all. It's a dialogue between two people. Use your sexy voice to tell him what you like, and ask him to do the same.
If none of that works, you can always send him downstairs — your other set of lips might like it!