I Really Like My Yoga Teacher, and I Thought She Liked Me Back | Ask Athena | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

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I Really Like My Yoga Teacher, and I Thought She Liked Me Back


Dear Athena,

I have been taking this yoga class, and I started to have a crush on the teacher. So, after a while, I asked her out for coffee after class. She said yes, and we had a great time. We met a few more times, and I felt like things were really starting to get going. And then one day after class I saw her kissing another woman. I saw them again where she and I were having our after-class coffee, and they were all over each other. I don't know what to do, but I think it must be her girlfriend. I was really starting to like her a lot, and I thought she liked me back. Now I am embarrassed. Do I still go to her class? Do I still ask her out? She acts toward me like nothing has changed. She flirts. Help!


Crushed by My Crush

Dear Crushed,

First of all, good for you for taking the leap and asking out your crush. That's not an easy feat — but you did it, and you should be proud.

I see two possibilities here: Either she's a total flirt who has a girlfriend, or she thought you were just being friendly in a platonic way. She's a yoga teacher; who knows how many students ask to meet her after class? Who knows how long she's been making out with this mystery woman? Who knows how serious they are? There's a lot we don't know here. You need some answers, and your crush is the only one who can give them to you.

You'll have to take your bravery a step farther and ask a few clarifying questions. Invite her out for coffee again, then ask her what's up. If you feel confident enough, you may even want to share your feelings. Tell her that you like her and that you thought she liked you back. And not just as a student but as a potential sweetheart.

There's a good chance she thought you just wanted to be pals. The flirtation you experienced might be part of her personality, not her wanting to get into your yoga pants. If it turns out that signals got crossed over the lattes you shared, I'm sorry. But don't let this get in the way of your yoga practice. If you feel too awkward to attend her class, find another one.

And don't let this stop you from asking people out. This isn't the end of the world, and there are other yogis out there to swoon over.

A lesson for your next go: When you start having feelings for someone, don't be shy about them. Let that special person know what you're thinking. If you keep things casual for too long, you're also sending a mixed message. If you want something, you have to go for it — all the way.