- Courtesy of Nicoleta Ionescu
A friend of mine is in a band, and she always invites me to its shows. She thinks the music is great, but to be honest I really don't like it. I want to be supportive — I've been to shows a couple times — but I don't think I can take another one. How do I get out of going without hurting her feelings?
Not a Fan (male, 24)
Not a Fan,
We've all been there. Everybody has had a friend who is really involved in something that isn't our cup of tea. And that's OK. Different strokes for different folks, and all that jazz. Besides, it gives you something good to talk shit about behind her back.
Just kidding. You shouldn't do that.
You probably also shouldn't tell her you think that her band stinks. I'm all for honesty, but confessing your distaste would be unnecessary and borderline just plain mean. The next time a show comes around, say that you have other plans. Or use the old standby: "I'll try to swing by." That way, you aren't really lying.
On the other hand, unless the music actually makes your ears bleed, how bad can it be? Going to a show is usually fun even if the music kinda blows. You could pop in, make sure your friend sees you for a little bit and get the heck out before the end. Or rope another friend or three into going with you and turn it into a good time.
Another approach: Have a few pops and good-naturedly heckle the band. Shout out requests for "Free Bird" after every song. There's a slim chance that could backfire on you, but I'm pretty sure she'd stop asking you to attend.
Good luck and God bless,