I Peed During Sex and Am So Embarrassed | Ask Athena | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

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I Peed During Sex and Am So Embarrassed


Published October 8, 2014 at 10:00 a.m.

Dear Athena,

I am so embarrassed and confused and horrified. The other night I was having sex with a guy I just started dating, and it was great. I was feeling like I was about to orgasm and I totally peed. It just came shooting out and I had no control. He was completely grossed out, and I jumped out of the bed. The mood was over, and I made a reason to leave, which he was totally fine with. I haven't talked to him in a few days. I'm afraid to call him and try to hang out because I am so embarrassed. And he hasn't tried to call me. What is wrong with me? That has never happened before, but I don't have that much experience in the orgasm department. What's going on?

Please help,

Pee Disaster

Dear PD,

Feeling embarrassed is awful. But feeling scared is worse, so let me first allay your fear. There is nothing wrong with you and everything is going to be OK.

Here's some information that might put you at ease: You probably didn't pee. It may have felt like that because it happened so fast. But what you most likely did was some simple, harmless squirting.

Squirting is when a woman releases fluid around the urethra. What you experienced, my friend, was female ejaculation. It's common and is often confused with urine, as it feels quite similar. But here's the good part: The release of that liquid, similar to the release of sperm in a man, is a result of intense G-spot stimulation. So whatever you and your guy were doing, you were doing it right.

While it's possible to pee a little during sex, it's not as likely. Your bladder has to be pretty full to leak. The sensation of needing to pee is a good thing, too; it's a sign that an orgasm is headed your way.

I say call your guy and get together and chat. Tell him you felt/feel embarrassed. Explain that you got some information and want to let him in on what really went down. He will probably be pleased to hear it. What happened is actually positive for you two, and not just because you located your G-spot. You two shared an embarrassing moment, something that all couples eventually experience. If he's mature and comfortable with himself, and with bodies in general, he will get over his initial squeamishness and laugh with you about the whole thing. These kinds of moments can bring you closer.

However, if you feel his reaction was over the top and made you feel even more self-conscious and horrified, then maybe he's not the most sensitive person. You want to invest in a guy who is able to step up in a delicate or humiliating moment. Your partner ought to find a way to assuage your discomfort instead of making you want to flee. Think about it before you move forward. But, most importantly, know that you are 100 percent OK.



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