I am a 20-year-old guy with a crush on my best friend's little sister. I have known my friend since middle school. I was immediately attracted to his sister the first time I met her. She is three years younger than me. I was always scared to get to know her, because I know how protective her brother is. I started talking to her and hanging out with her behind his back — probably not a great move. I want to get to know her sexually, but I'm scared I am gonna lose my best friend and get the shit kicked out of me. What should I do?
Buddy Wantzer (male, 20)
Dear Buddy Wantzer,
I grew up with three older brothers. If any of them had found out that one of their friends and I had been secretly messing around when I was 17, I can assure you the outcome would not have been pretty — mostly for the friend.
You may not believe this, but trust me: Sex is great, but nothing beats a best friend. Not everybody has one. You don't want to do anything to jeopardize your longtime friendship, and keeping this secret from your pal is a surefire way to lose it — even more so if things go south with his sister.
If you and she are serious about pursuing a relationship, your friend is going to find out sooner or later, so you might as well rip off the Band-Aid. Perhaps you should tell him together? However you do it, you really ought to get it out in the open before things go too far.
Speaking of going too far: The age of consent in Vermont is 16, so technically you wouldn't be breaking any laws if the two of you did decide to have sex. However, under these circumstances, I recommend taking things slower than slow. If you show that you truly care about his sister and treat her with respect, your buddy will hopefully be happy that she's with you rather than some weirdo horn dog he doesn't know.
Good luck and God bless,