I Find It Annoying When a Guy Asks If He Can Kiss Me on a Date | Ask the Rev. | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

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I Find It Annoying When a Guy Asks If He Can Kiss Me on a Date


Published November 4, 2020 at 10:15 a.m.

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Dear Reverend,

I find it really annoying when I'm on a date with a guy and he asks if he can kiss me. Even if I want to, the question makes the moment awkward and turns me off. I feel like a first kiss should be more organic and intuitive, especially for these grown men. I don't remember this being a thing before. Is this a #MeToo side dish?

Puckered Out (female, 47)

Dear Puckered Out,

These days, just about any false move could be considered sexual assault, so you can't blame a guy for being extra careful and seeking consent for a kiss. That practice is probably not going to change anytime soon, so although it's currently a mood kill for you, I suggest you learn how to work with it.

When you're on a date and want to lock lips, how about you make the first move? If that's not your style, you can make it obvious that you're ready for smoochin' so the guy might not feel the need to ask. Get close and gently touch his arm or leg. Make a lot of eye contact. I've never tried it myself, but I've heard about the Triangle Method: Gaze into one eye, then the other, down to the lips and back at the eyes — all slow and seductive. If that works for you, do let me know.

You could also start to retrain your brain. Instead of thinking the ask is awkward, consider how sexy it is. It's obvious that he's into you and, better yet, he respects you. That's what I call a real turn-on.

There are plenty of people out there with no dates and no kissing prospects on the horizon. If the biggest complaint you have right now is politely being asked to make out, consider yourself pretty dang lucky.

Good luck and God bless,

The Reverend

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