Ask Athena: How Do I Get My Wife to Have a Threesome? | Ask Athena | Seven Days | Vermont's Independent Voice

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Ask Athena: How Do I Get My Wife to Have a Threesome?

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Dear Athena,

How do I get my wife to have a threesome with me and her twin sister?

Signed,

Twin Love

Dear Twin Love,

No. Just no. It's called incest, bud, and it's never going to happen. Set aside the fantasy for when you're jerking off, 'cause that's as close as you're going to get.

If you're willing to try for a threesome with someone who isn't family, read on to the next question.

Yours,

Athena

Dear Athena,

How do I get my wife to have a threesome?

Signed,

Party of Three

Dear Party,

If you've already asked her a number of times and she isn't into it, please lay off. Badgering your wife to make your sexual fantasies a reality ain't gonna cut it. However, if you've floated the idea and she's shown signs of interest, consider the following.

Revealing your desire to invite someone else into the bedroom likely has made your wife wonder, Am I enough? She might think you're bored or not attracted to her anymore. If that's the case, write back and we can dive into your marital issues another time. Otherwise, make her understand that you're still into her but that you want to get even closer — by expanding your sexual experiences together.

If she does get on board, don't expect threesomes to become status quo. Just because she has said yes once doesn't mean she owes you more or will be interested in continuing. And by the way, you didn't specify a preferred gender for your "third." Are you open to whatever your wife might prefer?

However you might get this ménage à trois going, treat your wife like she is the most important person in the room. Even though you have a guest, your spouse needs to feel like she is No. 1, no matter what.

And don't do anything until you agree on all the terms and conditions together — no ifs, ands or buts about it. You can disagree on where to get takeout, but not on this.

Yours,

Athena

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