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Hook Up Hang Up

Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...


Published December 18, 2013 at 2:04 p.m.

Dear Mistress Maeve,

I hooked up with this girl after a party on campus, and there was crazy chemistry. We had a great night. In the morning, we did that awkward, “What do we do now?” thing, and she ended up taking off back to her dorm. Now she’s leaving for holiday break, and I don’t want her to forget about me (she’s going home to New Hampshire, I’m staying in Burlington). I think she’s into me, too. How can I turn a one-night stand into a relationship?


Hopeless Romantic

Dear Hopeless,

Here’s a crazy idea: Ask her out! Especially when in college, it’s easy to get caught up in being “too cool” for a relationship — but if your heart is telling you she’s worth your time, you should heed the call.

Whatever you do, don’t invite her to a party where you’ll end up casually hooking up again and find yourself doing that same awkward morning dance — make it a real date. The holidays are a perfect time for romance. Why not ask her to take a walk downtown and check out the Christmas lights? Some cold weather and hot chocolate can be the perfect recipe for warming up a relationship. And, hey, if it goes well, New Hampshire is just a short drive or bus ride away — you could ring in the New Year together.

And, please, when you’re getting ready to ask her out, put down your phone and turn off the computer. Don’t fall down the technology rabbit hole and start some never-ending texting game that adds to the hookup confusion — instead, go old school. Find her on the way to class or take a seat next to her in the dining hall. Take a deep breath and ask her out. If a holiday stroll is too cheesy for you, ask her to see a band or have brunch. By being direct, she’ll know you’re serious, and her response will let you know if she’s serious, too.

Hooking you up,


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