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Go, Or No?

Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...


Published November 16, 2011 at 12:29 p.m.

Dear Mistress,

I met a guy through an online dating site and we had a pretty good first date. He texted me the following day asking if I wanted to hang out again, and we made a plan to hang out the following Sunday. On Sunday morning, he texted to say that he needed to reschedule because his brother came into town. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and texted back that it was no big deal and that we could make a new plan. Then I didn't hear from him. After more than a week, he texted wondering if I'd still like to reschedule. I had already written him off.

Part of me feels like this guy has already shown himself to be non-reliable and I should move on, but another part of me wonders if I'm being too harsh. Should I give him another go?


Go, Or No?

Dear Go,

Hey, life happens, and sometimes we have to reschedule a date - but this guy totally flubbed it up. In the beginning stages of a relationship, trust hasn't yet been established, so rescheduling a date must be done with the utmost care. If your guy had followed these three steps, you wouldn't be debating whether to see him again.

Pick up the phone. Texting is fine for most relationship communiqués, but to truly convey sincere regret for canceling, a conversation is in order (or, at the very least, a voicemail).

Apologize. Never underestimate the power of those two little words, "I'm sorry."

Suggest an alternative plan. Even if the other party is unavailable for the time suggested, it shows a true commitment to rescheduling.

Obvious? Yes. But in this era of communication via texting, instant messenger and Facebook chat - people need reminders about how to really talk.

This guy failed miserably at rescheduling your date, but it doesn't mean he's a total dud. If you'd like to see him again, text him back and say, "Sure, let's reschedule. Give me a call and we can make a plan." This way, you'll be able to hear his tone and decide if he's enthusiastic about seeing you again. If you continue to see red flags, you'll have

to cancel - permanently.