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Give Me a Hand

Mistress Maeve: Your guide to love and lust...


Published November 7, 2012 at 10:25 a.m.

Dear Mistress,

My boyfriend likes hand jobs, which I think is odd when he could be getting a blow job, but to each his own, I guess. I haven’t given a hand job since junior high, so I’m wondering if you can give me some tips?


Give Me a Hand?

Dear GMAH,

Let’s take a moment to perform a simple exercise. Reach up and rub your neck and shoulders — feels pretty good, right? But now think about how much better it feels to get a massage from someone else. That’s why your boyfriend digs hand jobs.

You’ll need to rely on your beau to guide you to his ultimate hand job, but here are some tips to help you get a grip:

Lube it up. Some guys like to masturbate with a dry hand, but you should play it safe and keep it slick. Just be sure to use a water-based lube if you plan to use a condom later — silicone-based lubricants can break down latex. Better yet, alternate between using your hand and mouth to keep things wet and wild.

Show and tell. If you’re not sure what your boyfriend likes, ask him to show you. Watch him please himself and get the hang of his rhythm. When you take over, encourage him to give you feedback — the more he coaches you, the happier you both will be.

Keep an eye on him. Eye contact is key in giving a hot hand job (or blow job, for that matter). Looking him in the eye will add intensity and intimacy to your encounter. And don’t be afraid to talk dirty, too — the steamier the better.

Accessorize. If the penis is the leading man, the balls and taint are the supporting actors. While you’re stroking with one hand, cradle his scrotum with the other. You can also try applying gentle pressure to the area underneath his balls — a little tickle with your tongue to both areas can’t hurt, either. Not all guys like to have their undercarriage stimulated during sex, so talk about it ahead of time and gauge his interest.

Above all else, you shouldn’t feel pressure to perform — discovering how to give a great hand job should be fun and rewarding. Follow the steps above and listen to your man’s feedback, and he’ll be handing out the compliments in no time.

On the other hand,