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Fwd: A Guide to U.S. Newspapers

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I got this email from my sister in Wisconsin. I'd seen it a million times before, blah blah blah, but then.... This one came with a nice twist.

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The New York Times is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The Washington Post is read by people who think they should run the country.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand the Washington Post. They do, however, like the colorful bar graphs and pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country if they could spare the time, and if they didn't have to leave L.A. to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country, and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country either, as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country, or that anyone is running it; but whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if a leader is handicapped, a minority, a feminist, a homosexual, an atheist, a dwarf, or an illegal alien from ANY country or galaxy as long as he, she or it is a left-wing liberal.

10. The Miami Herald is read by people who would like to run another country, but need the baseball scores.

11. Seven Days is read by people who don't like the way the country is being run, and would rather listen to good music anyway.

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