ARIES (March 21-April 19): In the sci-fi film trilogy The Matrix, the heroes are able to instantaneously acquire certain complex skills via software that’s downloaded directly into their brains. In this way, the female hacker named Trinity masters the art of piloting a military M-109 helicopter in just a few minutes. If you could choose a few downloads like that, Aries, what would they be? This isn’t just a rhetorical question meant for your amusement. In 2013, I expect that your educational capacity will be exceptional. While you may not be able to add new skills as easily as Trinity, you’ll be pretty fast and efficient. So what do you want to learn? Choose wisely.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Are you familiar with the fable of the golden goose? The farmer who owned it became impatient because it laid only one gold egg per day. So he killed it, thinking he would thereby get the big chunk of gold that must be inside its body. Alas, his theory was mistaken. There was no chunk. From then on, of course, he no longer got his modest daily treasure. I nominate this fable to be one of your top teaching stories of 2013. As long as you’re content with a slow, steady rate of enrichment, you’ll be successful. Pushing extra hard to expedite the flow might lead to problems.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Here are some of the experiences I hope to help you harvest in the coming year: growing pains that are interesting and invigorating rather than stressful; future shock that feels like a fun joyride rather than a bumpy rumble; two totally new and original ways to get excited; a good reason to have faith in a dream that has previously been improbable; a fresh supply of Innocent Crazy-Wise Love Truth; and access to all the borogoves, mome raths and slithy toves you could ever want.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): In her gallery show “Actuality, Reminiscence, and Fabrication,” artist Deborah Sullivan includes a piece called “Penance 1962.” It consists of a series of handwritten statements that repeats a central theme: “I must not look at boys during prayer.” I’m assuming it’s based on her memory of being in church or Catholic school when she was a teenager. You probably have an analogous rule lodged somewhere in the depths of your unconscious mind — an outmoded prohibition or taboo that may still be subtly corroding your life energy. The coming year will be an excellent time to banish that ancient nonsense for good. If you were Deborah Sullivan, I’d advise you to fill a whole notebook page with the corrected assertion: “It’s OK to look at boys during prayer.”
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): For years, the gravestone of Irish dramatist Oscar Wilde was covered with kiss-shaped lipstick marks that were left by his admirers. Unfortunately, Wilde’s descendants decided to scour away all those blessings and erect a glass wall around the tomb to prevent further displays of affection. In my astrological opinion, Leo, you should favor the former style of behavior over the latter in 2013. In other words, don’t focus on keeping things neat and clean and well ordered. On the contrary: Be extravagant and uninhibited in expressing your love for the influences that inspire you — even at the risk of being a bit unruly or messy.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In 2013, I hope to conspire with you to raise your levels of righteous success. If you’re a struggling songwriter, I’ll be pushing for you to get your music out to more people — without sacrificing your artistic integrity. If you’re a kindergarten teacher, I’ll prompt you to fine-tune and deepen the benevolent influence you have on your students. If you’re a business owner, I’ll urge you to ensure that the product or service you offer is a well-honed gift to those who use it. As I trust you can see, Virgo, I’m implying that impeccable ethics will be crucial to your ascent in the coming year.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): After Libran poet Wallace Stevens won the Pulitzer Prize for poetry in 1955, Harvard University offered him a job as a full professor. But he turned it down. He couldn’t bear leaving his day job as the vice-president of an insurance company in Hartford, Connecticut. I suspect that in the first half of 2013, you will come to a fork in the road that may feel something like Stevens’ quandary. Should you stick with what you know or head off in the direction of more intense and unpredictable stimulation? I’m not here to tell you which is the better choice; I simply want to make sure you clearly identify the nature of the decision.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In 2013, I will try to help you retool, reinvent and reinvigorate yourself in every way that’s important to you. I will encourage you to reawaken one of your sleeping aptitudes, recapture a lost treasure and reanimate a dream you’ve neglected. If you’re smart, Scorpio, you will reallocate resources that got misdirected or wasted. And I hope you will reapply for a privilege or position you were previously denied, because I bet you’ll win it this time around. Here are your words of power for the year ahead: resurrection and redemption.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Based on experiments at the Large Hadron Collider, a team of physicists in France and Switzerland announced last July that they had tentatively discovered the Higgs boson, which is colloquially known as the “God particle.” What’s all the fuss? In her San Francisco Chronicle column, Leah Garchik quoted an expert who sought to explain: “The Higgs boson is the WD40 and duct tape of the universe, all rolled into one.” Is there a metaphorical equivalent of such a glorious and fundamental thing in your life, Sagittarius? If not, I predict you will find it in 2013. If there already is, I expect you will locate and start using its 2.0 version.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In 2013, I pledge to help you bring only the highest-quality influences and self-responsible people into your life. Together we will work to dispel any unconscious attraction you might have to demoralizing chaos or pathological melodrama. We will furthermore strive to ensure that as you deepen and fine-tune your self-discipline, it will not be motivated by self-denial or obsessive control-freak tendencies. Rather, it will be an act of love that you engage in so as to intensify your ability to express yourself freely and beautifully.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Genius is the ability to renew one’s emotions in daily experience,” said French painter Paul Cezanne. What do you think he meant by that? Here’s one interpretation: Many of us replay the same old emotions over and over again — even in response to experiences that are nothing like the past events when we felt those exact feelings. So a genius might be someone who generates a fresh emotion for each new adventure. Here’s another possible interpretation of Cezanne’s remark: It can be hard to get excited about continually repeating the basic tasks of our regular routines day after day. But a genius might be someone who is good at doing just that. I think that by both of these definitions, 2013 could be a genius year for you Aquarians.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Home is not just the building where you live. It’s more than the community that gives you support and the patch of earth that comforts you with its familiarity. Home is any place where you’re free to be your authentic self; it’s any power spot where you can think your own thoughts and see with your own eyes. I hope and trust that in 2013 you will put yourself in position to experience this state of being as often as possible. Do you have any ideas about how to do that? Brainstorm about it on a regular basis for the next six months.